EP245: The Confidence Habit with Dr. Cindra Kamphoff
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(The notes below are only a brief bullet point summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email to angie@angie-robinson.com.)
I've been waiting a while to have a guest back on the podcast, and this conversation was worth it. I sat down with Dr. Cindra Kamphoff — mental performance coach for the Minnesota Vikings, USA Track & Field, and owner of the Mentally Strong Institute — to talk about her newest book, The Confidence Habit: 7 Core Practices to Turn Self-Doubt into Self-Belief, which became a two-time national bestseller in its first week.
I met Cindra at the Minnesota School Nutrition Association conference in August, where she was a keynote speaker on confidence. I was so struck by her topic that I made sure to catch her session before my own breakout, and I knew immediately I wanted her on the show. Confidence is one of the most common underlying issues I see with my coaching clients, even when it's not the thing they name first.
Confidence Is Four Things
The core idea of Cindra's book is that confidence is a habit — not a fixed trait. She breaks it into four parts: a feeling, a decision, a skill, and a belief in yourself. Confident people aren't fearless or doubt-free. They simply rebound and move through doubt more quickly, and because all four parts can be trained, confidence is something you can build at any point in your life, whether you're facing a promotion, a retirement, or tough feedback at work.
The need for this work is real. Cindra's research found that 67% of people believe we're in a confidence crisis, and one in two Gen Z-ers consistently or frequently feels like they're not enough.
The Five Confidence Traps
Cindra outlines five confidence traps in the book: fear, limiting beliefs, judgment, comparison, and perfectionism. In our conversation, she said fear is the one she sees trip people up the most, because it shows up in so many forms — including something she calls FOPO, fear of other people's opinions. She also shared a helpful acronym for fear itself: Future Events Aren't Real. Fear is a future-based emotion, so the antidote is coming back to the present moment and asking what you can control right now.
Imposter Phenomenon, Not Imposter Syndrome
One of my favorite parts of this conversation was Cindra's take on imposter syndrome. The original term, coined in 1978 by researchers Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance, was actually "imposter phenomenon." Cindra prefers that version, because "syndrome" implies something is wrong with you, while "phenomenon" simply names something observable and human. Her advice: notice when you're generalizing or labeling yourself, and ask whether the thought is true, whether it's serving you, and what a more empowering thought might be. She calls this tool the truth meter.
Confidence vs. Arrogance
Cindra also drew a clear line between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance, she said, sounds like having all the answers and being uncoachable. Confidence is a true belief in yourself and your worth. She shared that early in her career, she held back her own confidence because she didn't want to come across as arrogant — and that when she talks about her book's success now, it isn't about ego. It's connected to a purpose bigger than herself, something she traces back to a moment at the 2013 Boston Marathon, when she realized she'd been playing small.
The Seven Core Practices
The heart of the book is seven practices for building confidence:
Craft your inner coach
Clear your past
Clarify your future
Create your identity
Capture your wins
Claim your emotions
Compose your winning team
Cindra was clear that these aren't linear — you can start wherever you need the most support right now, and you can take a free assessment at confidencetools.com to find out which of the seven you most need to grow.
The Win Wall
The story that stayed with me most from our conversation was about "capture your wins." Cindra's dad spent 51 days in the ICU earlier this year. During that time, she and her family started a win wall — a tri-fold poster where they wrote down one small win each day, even something as simple as a small piece of good news. Her family kept adding to it until her dad passed away. She still encourages people to start their own win wall, whether at home, in a hospital room, or even to open a team meeting by naming recent progress. Our brains are wired to notice how far we have to go rather than how far we've come, and a win wall is a simple, concrete way to correct for that.
Where to Go From Here
Cindra's book, The Confidence Habit, is available anywhere books are sold, and you can find her free resources, assessment, workbook, and more at confidencetools.com. If you've ever doubted yourself in a role you've earned, I hope this conversation gives you some tools to come back to.
What Do You Think?
Which practice of seven Confident Habit core practices would you most like to focus on?
Links
Mentally Strong Institute Website
Discover Your Personality Style Quiz [download]
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