EP247: The Foundation - Understand Yourself
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(The notes below are only a brief bullet point summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email to angie@angie-robinson.com.)
When you first become a leader, it's really about a shift in identity. Last week, I talked about bringing awareness to what's actually different. This week, I want to talk about the next piece, what I consider to be the foundation: really understanding yourself.
The Aladdin Problem
You know the Disney movie Aladdin? Because of circumstances in his life, Aladdin decides he wants to be a prince. So he figures out what a prince is supposed to look like. The clothes. The big, grand parade. He talks a certain way and presents himself a certain way. He plays the part.
And it works. For a while. But he has to keep that facade up every single day, and it becomes really exhausting.
I see a version of this with new leaders all of the time. Many of us do this. We copy someone we admire, a boss, a mentor, someone who made leading look easy, and we want to be like them. It works until it doesn't. Until it doesn't feel like us anymore.
That makes sense. There's something about that person that made us look up to them, and they may be getting results we want: a title, opportunities, respect. But here's the truth: we can never be just like someone else, because we're all our own people.
Copying vs. Being Inspired
There's a real difference between replicating someone and being inspired by them.
Replicating is putting on a mask. Think of that other person as the costume you're wearing. That's what Aladdin did. He put on clothes that weren't authentically him.
Being inspired means taking the behaviors or qualities you admire and making them your own. Maybe you learn to embody them. Maybe it's a skill you're building. Either way, you're doing it in a way that feels like you.
Borrowed leadership is exhausting.
My Own Borrowed Leadership
Early in my HR career, I was an employment manager, and the assistant director of HR was someone I really looked up to. She mentored me, and she was great. I noticed her confidence and her directness. She was very caring, but she moved on quickly, and I wanted to adopt all of it.
So I tried. And along the way, I realized it didn't feel good. I actually didn't like moving on that quickly. It worked for her, but when I tried it, I wasn't good at it, because my style is different. My style is deeper connection with people, really seeing the person before I move on.
I had to figure out what worked for me while still getting the results I wanted and the results she expected, in a way that fit me.
And we keep growing through that. Along the way, I also had to figure out when that deeper connection could get in the way. And it did. We all overuse our strengths in some way.
That's what this foundation is about: figuring out how you lead. I promise it is so worth spending your energy understanding yourself instead of trying to figure out how to be someone else.
This understanding is the foundation of your leadership. I'll say it always and forever: everything else, including feedback, delegation, and vision, gets easier once you know your own defaults, strengths, and superpowers.
Four Areas of Self-Awareness
These are the areas I work through with leaders in groups, in leadership development programs, and especially in one-on-one coaching.
1. Your Values
What matters most to you as a leader, and as a human? You probably have twenty things that are important to you, but honing in on your top three or four helps you understand your approach to leadership, decision-making, and communication.
Values are also great flags. When they're challenged or misaligned, things start to feel off. When you know why, you can make intentional choices from there.
If you know your top values, pick three and ask where each one showed up in your work this week. Then ask where you're not living them, and what that tells you.
If you're not sure what your top values are, I have a free worksheet called Discover Your Values under the Resources tab at angie-robinson.com.
2. Your Natural Strengths and Preferences
There are lots of ways to understand these: assessments, reflective prompts, and asking the people around you what they see in you. If you know me at all, you know Insights Discovery is one of my favorites.
Insights works in the language of color, with four color energies: Cool Blue, Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, and Earth Green. No color is better than another. When you understand your mix, especially through the detailed profile, you can clearly see your strengths, areas of opportunity, preferences, and blind spots.
But we want to go further, because every strength has a shadow side.
If your strength is driving for results, getting from A to B quickly and efficiently, that's incredibly helpful. Overdone, you might miss other possibilities, overwork your team, leave them out of the process, or forget the human side of things.
If your strength is deep connection and care for people, like mine, that's a gift. Overdone, results might not happen fast enough, and decisions might be made too much from the heart and not enough from the data.
3. How You Show Up
Two pieces here. First, how do you show up under pressure? When stress hits, our emotional brain kicks in and our intentional self takes a back seat. Knowing what sets you off and what happens in your body gives you a chance to pause and choose how to respond.
Second, how do you land on others? Knowing how people perceive you is incredibly useful information.
4. Your Mindset and Beliefs
Are your beliefs helping you or limiting you? Is your mindset one of growth, or is it fixed?
To me, knowing what's going on in your brain is one of the most powerful pieces of your leadership. If you have a limiting belief that your voice doesn't matter, you won't use it. You may come across as unsure, or even indifferent. That's not the leader you want to be, and it may not be your intention at all. But if that belief is sitting underneath, it will drive how you lead. So we need to uncover it and decide what's serving you and what isn't.
This Isn't About Judging Yourself
This foundation isn't about judgment. It's about raising awareness so you can be intentional. Without it, you're guessing at how to lead and hoping it works. Or, like Aladdin, you're wearing someone else's costume and hoping it holds up. It might for a while, but not for the long term.
Questions to Sit With
What do I value most in how I lead?
What strength do people count on me for, and do I actually see it as my own?
When that strength goes too far, what does it cost me, my team, or my organization?
And if you have a StrengthsFinder, Insights Discovery, or other profile sitting in a drawer, dust it off. What's in there that can help you understand yourself better? (If it's more than a couple of years old, take it with a grain of salt. Things shift.)
What Do You Think?
Can you identify what has (or did) actually changed?
Links
The Leadership Shift Interest Call
Discover Your Personality Style Quiz [download]
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