The Power of Connection: Our Basic Human Need
At the time that I am writing this post, the world is experiencing a global health crisis: the pandemic of COVID-19. The situation, along with our very own beliefs and opinions, are evolving every single day. One common message that has been shared during this crisis is that there has never been a time when human connection is needed more than now. And that is certainly true. When there is uncertainty sprinkled with the type of isolation and physical distancing we are experiencing — the importance of connection is amplified. I also believe the need for connection has been and will continue to be ALWAYS. Human connection has been something that I’ve found interesting for a long time and my own understanding and thoughts have evolved and deepened over the last several years. Dr. Brené Brown, PHD, put it well when she said that “we are hardwired to connect with others; it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”
What is the human connection?
For those that know me — they know that I am a big Brené Brown fan — so it’s no surprise that I am sharing another one of her quotes. She says “connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued — when they can give and receive without judgment.” Connection is one of our most basic human needs. My expansion of that definition is that not only is the energy of connection created between person to person, but it is also created in connection to self. Having a connection to ourselves is really foundational to authentically being connected to others.
Side note: this post is focusing on the first half of Brené’s quote (“connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued…”). The second half of her quote is a whole other topic worth digging into (“…when they can give and receive without judgment.”). I just might do that in a future post!
Connecting to Yourself
For a long time, I have geeked out on any and all assessments, quizzes and tools that could tell me more about who I am and what my personality style is. Since becoming a certified practitioner for Insights Discovery (my all-time favorite tool!), I’ve learned more about how the brain works and the psychology behind this connection. In general, being connected to self includes understanding your motivators, values, pain points, blind spots, beliefs, how you take in the world around you and how you make decisions. This awareness allows us to understand what gives us energy and what holds us back. It allows us to make day-by-day and moment-by-moment choices in how we think, behave and act. We are better able to connect to our emotions, our thoughts and our beliefs. Our connection to self helps guide us in our daily lives, prepares us to face the opportunities and challenges we are presented with and opens up the path for connecting to others, our work and our lives. Having a surface level connection to self is very useful — but going deep, although it takes time and work, really unlocks a power within us. It is an evolutionary, lifelong process that I find to be well worth the exploration!
Connecting with Others
Have you ever stopped to really think about what being connected to other people means to you? Or maybe you’ve noticed an emptiness when those connections aren’t there? I will repeat Brené Brown’s definition again. “…the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued…” That’s all we really want — isn’t it? To be seen, heard and valued. It provides us with validation that who we are matters. That our contributions, strengths, values and weak spots mean something. True connection with others provides us with a place to share thoughts and explore our dreams. We learn about perspectives other than our own and broaden our view on the world. Connection provides us with challenges that can serve us and gives us energy to take action — whatever that uniquely means to each of us.
Connection produces engaged teams, healthy relationships, effective communication and results that we really want. Connection builds trust, inspires change and uncovers affinity.
Get Connecting!
Without true connection — we can experience a decline in physical and mental health, lack of motivation and lack of engagement. All of this can lead to results that don’t serve us in the best way.
Dozens of studies have shown that people who have satisfying (connected) relationships are happier, have fewer health problems and live longer. Knowing that connection — both to self and others — has a positive impact on our overall emotional and physical health should hopefully drive us to get connecting! I love knowing that my efforts to connect with others not only positively impacts me, but just might have a positive impact on others too. The ripple effect can be amazing!
We are very fortunate to have incredible technology at our fingertips as a way to connect with people — especially during this time of stay-at-home orders and physical distancing. Video chats, texts and email are quick and simple ways to keep connected. And don’t underestimate the simple acts of a smile or a wave as you pass by a stranger, putting down our devices as we are talking to our kids and actively listening as our co-worker is sharing their thoughts and ideas.
If you want to take it to the next level — there are many great tools and programs available that guide people to really understanding themselves and others. I have used many and have experienced their benefits — both in the workplace and in my personal life. I have a vision that these types of tools and programs will someday become regular offerings in our schools, workplaces and communities. I believe it would make us kinder and more empathetic to one another — a direct result of focusing on connection!
The pandemic of 2020 is certainly serving as a reminder that human connection is important. Let’s keep it top of mind always. The more we connect — the better our businesses, our relationships and our lives will be.
What steps will YOU take? How will you deepen your connection with yourself and others? How will you help the teams you lead connect more in ways that improve engagement?
I’d love to help you with this work. My coaching and facilitation services are impactful and meaningful ways to strengthen connection and create transformation. When you’re ready — I’m here to partner with you.
Suggested Resources:
All of Brené Brown’s books are incredible. The one that might be most relevant to this topic is “Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone”. Amazon link to Brene's book
If you are not familiar with Brené Brown – her first Ted Talk on “The Power of Vulnerability” might be a good place to get to know her! YouTube link
Nice to Meet You!
My name is Angie Robinson. I am a coach, facilitator and consultant. I have a passion for partnering with others, helping them to be their best selves. I am known for having balanced judgment, making big picture connections, and building relationships.
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