EP222: Are You Leading from Fear or Possibility?
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Have you ever made a decision and known, even as you were making it, that something wasn't quite right? Not wrong exactly — but off. Like something else was steering the ship.
I think most of us have. I certainly have.
And here's what I've learned from both my own experience and years of coaching leaders: that feeling is almost always a sign that fear was running the show. Not your values. Not your vision. Not what you actually believe.
In this episode, I want to talk about the difference between leading from fear and leading from possibility — and how you can start to tell them apart.
What Fear-Based Leadership Actually Looks Like
When I say fear, I don't mean the dramatic kind. Not panic or crisis mode. I mean something quieter — something that often sits just beneath the surface.
Fear-based leadership might look like:
Withholding information to protect your turf or save face
Avoiding hard conversations to stay comfortable
Making decisions to prevent failure rather than create success
Managing optics instead of creating impact
Staying quiet when you know you have something to say
Fear in leadership sounds like I don't want to rock the boat or now's not the right time or I'll just wait and see how things play out. It's that internal voice that keeps you small. It protects you from risk — but it also keeps you from impact.
And when fear is running your leadership, it creates a scarcity mindset. There's never enough time, trust, or certainty to actually move forward. So instead you wait, manage, and control what you can — but you don't actually move.
What Possibility-Based Leadership Looks Like
Possibility isn't naive optimism. It's not pretending everything is fine or ignoring real challenges. Possibility is a choice — a choice about where you put your focus.
Possibility-based leadership asks: What can we create from where we are right now?
It looks like speaking the truth even when it's uncomfortable. Making decisions from your values, not your anxiety. Trusting your team enough to let them lead too. Taking action from what you want to create — not what you're afraid of losing.
Where scarcity sounds like there's not enough or I'm not enough — possibility sounds like what else might be true?One feels like a wall. The other opens everything up.
Where Fear Shows Up Most
Fear-based leadership doesn't tend to show up on a good day. It shows up under pressure. Some of the most common pressure points I see:
Making high-stakes decisions with uncertain outcomes
Facing conflict or difficult relationships on the team
Feeling like you have to have all the answers
Navigating seasons of change, uncertainty, or instability
Internal pressure — imposter syndrome, not-good-enough thoughts
Sound familiar? These are the moments that reveal which mindset is actually running the show.
The Question That Changes Everything
Here's the simplest tool I know for telling fear and possibility apart. Before any big decision or conversation, pause and ask:
Am I making this choice from what I'm afraid of — or from what I actually believe?
Let me show you how it works with two common leadership scenarios.
Scenario 1: The conversation you've been postponing. Maybe someone on your team is underperforming and you've been telling yourself you're waiting for the right moment. Ask the question: what are you afraid of? The discomfort of the conversation. Their reaction. The possibility it gets harder before it gets better.
Now — what do you actually believe? You believe this person deserves honest feedback. You believe your team deserves a leader who addresses what isn't working. You believe, as Brené Brown says, that clear is kind — and silence is just delay.
Fear says wait. Possibility says go have the conversation.
Scenario 2: The meeting where you stayed quiet. Something got said that you disagreed with. A decision was made that you knew was off. And you said nothing. What were you afraid of? Pushback. Being wrong in front of people. Slowing everything down.
What did you actually believe? That the decision deserved more scrutiny. That your perspective matters. That speaking up was the right thing to do.
Fear kept you quiet. Possibility would have had you speak.
The results of each path are very, very different. And you get to choose.
What Possibility-Based Leadership Requires
It's not passive. It actually asks more of you. It connects directly to the Three Keys to Leadership Magic:
Character — knowing what you actually believe and being willing to act on it, even when it's uncomfortable.
Confidence — trusting yourself enough to make decisions whose outcomes you can't fully control.
Connection — trusting your people enough to be honest with them, and letting them be honest with you.
Three Things You Can Do Today
Name it. Before your next big decision or conversation, pause and ask: is this fear or possibility driving me? Name what you're afraid of. Name what you actually believe. Just naming it changes things.
Follow your values, not your anxiety. Ask yourself: if I weren't afraid of the outcome, what would I do here? That answer almost always brings you closer to your values.
Take the next best step. Fear-based leadership almost always has a conversation attached to it that isn't happening. Pick one. Have it. Lead from what you actually believe.
You Don't Have to Be Fearless
Fear is real. You don't have to eliminate it to lead from possibility. You just have to be willing to notice the difference — and then pause and decide.
That's it. That's the work.
And I'd genuinely love to know: do you find yourself leading more from fear or from possibility? Probably a combination of both. But are there shifts you think you could make?
That's where the magic is.
What Do You Think?
Do you find yourself leading more from fear or from possibility - or a combination of both? Are there shifts you think you could make?
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