EP193: The Ripple Effect of a Leader’s Words
EVEN THE SIMPLE WORDS…
…carry lots of weight.
Enjoy!
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(The notes below are only a brief bullet point summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
Words Shape Reality
Words like always and never might seem small, but they carry an outsized impact. They don’t just describe reality—they actually shape it. When we use absolutes, we unintentionally put people into boxes, fuel blame, and close off possibility. As leaders, we have to recognize that language is not just descriptive—it’s formative.
When you say, “You never follow through,” or “You always mess this up,” the intention might be to point out a frustration. But what the other person often hears is a label: This is who you are. This will never change. Once those words land, they can be difficult to chip away, and the ripple effect begins.
Why Absolutes Are a Trap
Absolutes can show up everywhere: in parenting, relationships, workplaces, and even in the way we talk to ourselves. Imagine a child saying, “You never let me do anything.” Or a teammate who hears, “You never contribute ideas.” These statements shut down dialogue, create defensiveness, and diminish trust.
But when we shift to specificity, we invite conversation. Saying, “In the last two meetings, you didn’t share any ideas—I’m curious about what’s going on,” feels entirely different. It’s grounded in reality, acknowledges nuance, and keeps the door open for connection.
The Ripple Effect of a Leader’s Words
As leaders, our words travel further than we realize. They don’t just impact the person sitting across the table. They echo through teams, across organizations, and sometimes even into spaces we’ll never see. Leaders carry the loudest voice in the room—and people are listening.
That’s why absolutes are especially dangerous. They erase individuality. They group people into categories instead of recognizing them as unique humans with distinct gifts and potential. When we reduce people to labels, we don’t just diminish them—we diminish what’s possible for all of us.
Shifting the Conversation
So how do we avoid the trap of absolutes?
Add “yet.” Instead of saying, “I’ll never be good at public speaking,” shift it to, “I’m not good at public speaking yet.” That small change opens up possibility and fosters a growth mindset.
Get specific. Replace sweeping generalizations with clear examples. Specificity builds trust and clarity.
Ask curious questions. One of my favorites: What else could be true here? This question helps us see beyond the first assumption and uncover nuance.
Notice self-talk. Absolutes don’t just harm relationships with others—they harm our relationship with ourselves. Pay attention to how often you tell yourself, “I always mess up,” or “I’ll never figure this out.” Awareness is the first step toward change.
Invite accountability, not blame. Absolutes fuel blame, but specificity opens the door to accountability and solutions.
Leadership is Human
Here’s the truth: we all use absolutes. They roll off the tongue without much thought. The key is awareness. When you catch yourself, pause. Ask yourself if those words are creating trust or fueling division. And if you hear them from others, call it out gently and invite a shift.
Leadership is human. None of us are perfect, and we’re all works in progress. But when we choose words with care—words that are intentional, specific, and curious—we create possibility. We model growth, invite connection, and foster trust.
Your Words Ripple
The ripple effect of a leader’s words is real. What you say matters. The question is: are your words creating division and blame, or are they building trust and opening doors? As leaders, we can’t afford to underestimate the power of language.
I invite you to notice your absolutes. Notice where they show up in your self-talk, in conversations with your team, and in your relationships.
What Do You Think?
How can I shift my words to create possibility instead?
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