EP194: Strengthen Your Leadership Connection with Listening & Asking
ADVICE CAN BE HELPFUL…
…but curiosity should come first.
Enjoy!
Listen Here:
(The notes below are only a brief bullet point summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
We’ve all been in those moments when someone shares a challenge and—before they finish—we’re already solving. It feels efficient. It feels like leadership. But in reality, it can unintentionally shut down curiosity, miss the real issue beneath the surface, and leave the other person feeling unheard. The truth? Strong leadership isn’t about having the fastest answer—it’s about creating space for clarity, confidence, and connection to emerge.
The Problem with Jumping to Solutions
Many of us have been conditioned to believe leaders are supposed to fix things quickly. The mindset of “Here’s what I did, so you should too” assumes every situation is identical and centers the speaker instead of the person with the challenge. While it may come from a place of good intent, it can unintentionally:
Limit creativity and ownership.
Reduce trust by signaling you don’t believe the person can solve it themselves.
Shut down deeper dialogue before the real issue surfaces.
Leaders who focus on fast fixes risk missing the root causes of challenges and the opportunity to develop their people.
The Case for Curiosity
Curiosity is not a soft skill—it’s a leadership superpower. When you approach conversations with curiosity instead of certainty, you:
Create psychological safety by showing genuine interest in others’ perspectives.
Invite ownership, encouraging people to think through challenges themselves.
Uncover insights that might otherwise stay hidden.
Curiosity slows us down, but it doesn’t delay progress. Instead, it ensures that solutions are more accurate, sustainable, and embraced by those who have to implement them.
The Power of Listening
Listening is not passive—it’s one of the most active skills in leadership. To listen well:
Be fully present. Put away distractions and give your full attention.
Reflect back. Try: “What I’m hearing is…” or “It sounds like…”
Clarify. Ask: “Did I capture that right?”
Notice what’s unsaid. Often, tone, body language, or pauses tell you more than words.
This kind of listening builds trust, creates connection, and helps uncover the real story behind the initial problem.
Asking Better Questions
The best leaders don’t lead with advice—they lead with questions. A strong question is open-ended, neutral, and designed to empower reflection. Some to try:
“What have you already tried?”
“What outcome would feel like success here?”
“What’s the most challenging part of this situation for you?”
“What else?” (This simple question often leads to breakthroughs.)
Questions like these help others find their own answers, while also showing that you trust their ability to navigate challenges.
Jumping to Solutions vs. Giving Advice
There is a big difference between jumping to solutions and offering thoughtful advice. Jumping in might sound like: “Just block your calendar better.” But when you’ve listened and asked questions first, advice becomes collaborative: “What’s feeling most overwhelming? Would it be helpful if I shared what’s worked for me?”
The shift is subtle but powerful: one is about your need to fix, the other is about their need to be supported.
When Advice Is Appropriate
Advice has its place. Offer it when:
Permission is granted. “Would it help if I shared an approach that worked for me?”
Safety or urgency is involved. Some situations require leaders to step in quickly.
You’ve already listened first. Advice lands better after someone feels heard.
Frame advice as one option, not the answer. Try: “Here’s something that worked for me—how might it fit your situation?”
When They Just Want the Answer
Sometimes, someone really does want direction. In those moments:
Acknowledge their request: “I hear that you want an answer.”
Redirect ownership: “Before I share my thoughts, what options have you considered?”
Then, if needed, share your perspective as one possible approach.
This balance respects their autonomy while still giving the support they asked for.
Practice Tips for Leaders
To make curiosity a consistent leadership habit:
Slow down the impulse to fix.
Build a go-to question bank and use it often.
Reflect back what you hear to ensure understanding.
Choose curiosity over certainty.
Notice when giving advice is about your need to feel helpful versus their need to grow.
Pixie Dust Challenge
This week, notice the exact moment you feel the urge to jump in with your solution. Pause. Instead of answering, ask one more thoughtful question. Watch how it changes the conversation—and the connection.
What Do You Think?
In what situations do you feel the urge to jump in with your solution? How might pausing and asking a thoughtful question change the conversation?
Links
Please leave a review in Apple Podcasts + share with a friend
It will help others find the podcast - the more leaders we can impact - the better our workplaces and lives will be!
Schedule a FREE Discovery Call
Click here to schedule some time - let’s talk about how we can work together through one-on-one coaching, Insights Discovery workshops or other leadership development work!