EP195: Feeling Overwhelmed? Start with What You Can Control
LET’S GET REAL
…what can you really control?.
Enjoy!
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(The notes below are only a brief bullet point summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email request to: angie@angie-robinson.com. We’d be happy to provide that!)
When the world feels loud and fast, our brains chase the swirl. Lately I’ve felt that, too—not just the to-do lists of business, parenting, and community life, but the news, change, and constant noise that stirs up tension and uncertainty. If you’re there right now, this post is for you.
Why Naming Control Helps
When we refocus on what we can control—and acknowledge what we can’t—we reclaim agency. That shift reduces the feeling of overwhelm (or stress, anxiety) and gives us a clearer next step.
A couple of weeks ago, I reached for a simple reset: a two‑column list titled “What I Can Control / What I Can’t Control.” I let it sit out for a week and added to it as things came to mind. That process alone brought relief—and direction.
Start with a Brain Dump
Grab a page and draw two columns: Can Control / Can’t Control.
Do a quick brain dump. No editing.
Leave the page somewhere visible and add to it over a few days.
You can do this across your whole life or zoom in on one area (leadership, career, parenting, relationships, health, finances, the state of the country). I like to start broadly, then apply it to specific roles.
Common Reaction: The Buffering Trap
When we’re overwhelmed, many of us default to buffering—doing something instead of feeling the feeling (overscrolling, overshopping, overworking, even over‑exercising). Buffering numbs us in the moment but doesn’t move us forward. This exercise gets the swirl out of your head so you can act intentionally.
What I Can Control
To make sense of my list, I bucketed the controllables into four categories. Use mine as inspiration and build your own.
1) Mindset (my inner world)
The thoughts I fuel: I can challenge, shift, or reinforce them.
My self‑talk: choosing language that’s empowering, not diminishing.
Emotional processing: noticing and working with my emotions instead of ignoring them.
The meaning I assign: deciding what a situation or someone’s words will mean to me.
My commitment to learning and growth: extracting insight from whatever is happening.
2) How I show up (my presence and integrity)
Intentionality: I won’t always be sunshine and rainbows—and I can still be conscious and values‑aligned.
Presence: reducing distraction and choosing to be fully there.
Values in action: knowing my values and honoring them in decisions and behavior.
Compassion, empathy, and curiosity: especially when it’s hard.
Openness to different perspectives: pausing, stepping back, and choosing my response.
3) Energy, boundaries, and focus (my attention)
Boundaries that protect my time and energy.
What I consume—and how much (news, social, conversations, rabbit holes).
The actions I take (or don’t take) and at what pace (slowing down or pushing forward).
4) Self‑care and support (my sustainability)
Morning and evening routines that ground me (for me: early workouts, journaling, engaging reading, walks with my dog, less social media at night, sometimes a comfort Disney movie to quiet my brain).
Asking for help: not going it alone.
Rituals that keep me steady when life is heavy.
What I Can’t Control
Other people’s actions, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, reactions, decisions, or expectations.
The past (though I can choose what I learn from it).
The future (my present choices help shape it, but there will always be uncertainty).
External events: the economy, politics, natural disasters, or client situations outside my lane.
Releasing what’s not mine to control creates space—and lowers the temperature on overwhelm. I can still influence through how I show up, listen, and communicate, but influence isn’t control.
Bringing It into Leadership
You can’t control your team’s attitudes or every organizational change. You can control how you communicate in uncertainty, the empathy and boundaries you model, the clarity of your expectations, and your openness to feedback and different perspectives.
Leaders who sustain themselves are better able to sustain others. Self‑care and asking for support are acts of responsibility—not weakness. This is leadership in action.
The Three Keys to Leadership Magic™
This exercise maps beautifully to my framework of Character, Confidence, and Connection:
Character (who you are): Know your values and your “why.” Align decisions and behavior with them.
Confidence (how you lead yourself): Manage your mind and emotions, practice empowering self‑talk, take intentional action (or choose intentional non‑action), and ask for help.
Connection (how you lead others): Show up with presence and humanity. Stay curious, build trust, and give your energy to the people and priorities that matter most.
Try It
Make the two‑column list.
Add to it for a few days.
Circle 1–2 controllables to double down on now.
Feeling overwhelmed is normal, and it will ebb and flow. Focusing on the controllables brings a little peace, a little momentum, and a lot of clarity about where to put your focus.
What Do You Think?
What are the things you can control?
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