EP218: Pixie Dust Pep Talk - Confidence Is Self-Trust
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(The notes below are only a brief bullet point summary of what is discussed in the podcast. Be sure to listen to get all of the goodness! If you would like a full transcription of the episode, please send an email to angie@angie-robinson.com.
Confidence is one of the topics that comes up most in my coaching conversations — sometimes explicitly, sometimes in roundabout ways. It shows up in how leaders talk about decisions they're avoiding, conversations they're dreading, or changes that are making them feel uncertain. It is everywhere.
And it makes sense that it's one of the three keys in my Leadership Magic Framework. Confidence is that important. That relevant to leadership.
But I've noticed something: most of us have a slightly distorted picture of what confidence actually is. And that distortion is getting in our way.
What Confidence Is NOT
Many people believe confidence means knowing what's going to happen next. Having a plan. Seeing the outcome. Feeling really sure about the thing — or about themselves. It's this sense of "I've got it all figured out. I've got it all together."
But real life — real leadership — rarely offers that luxury.
Think about a time when you stepped into something you didn't feel ready for. Maybe it was a promotion. A difficult conversation. A change that brought uncertainty with it. I can think of a million situations in which I did not feel ready.
And yet — what happened? We showed up anyway. Somewhere along the way, we figured it out. We got through it. It might not have been perfect or exactly what we pictured, but it was effective. It was impactful.
That is confidence.
Confidence Is Self-Trust
Confidence is not about certainty. It's not about having it all figured out or buttoned up. It is about self-trust — trusting your own ability to respond, adjust, and learn, even when the path isn't clear.
And that self-trust deepens when we look at the evidence we already have. What have you already handled? What have you already navigated? What have you already learned about yourself and your abilities?
That is evidence that you have your own back. You've done it before. You can do it again. You've made it to the other side — and for the most part, you've learned and grown because of it.
We don't need to have all the answers. We just need to believe in our own capacity. We need to know we've got our own backs.
And here's something I love about this kind of confidence: it doesn't have to be big and bold. It can be this quiet, steady knowing within ourselves. That's actually the strong kind. It's not about proving anything. It's about reminding ourselves.
I might not know exactly how this is going to go — but I trust myself to meet it.
Self-Belief Is the Foundation
At the very core of self-trust is self-belief. Because if you don't believe in yourself — in who you are and who you can become — self-trust is going to feel a little wobbly.
Self-belief isn't thinking you'll get it right every time or that you'll never make a mistake. It's believing that you are capable of learning, growing, and recovering. When you truly believe that you are adaptable, and then you're faced with uncertainty — confidence will still be there.
Here's a powerful shift: when we're not feeling confident, our brains tend to ask questions like "What's going to happen? How is this going to turn out?" — questions that are impossible to answer because we genuinely don't know.
Those aren't the questions worth answering.
The question that actually helps is: Who do I want to be in this moment?
That shifts the focus to your identity, to your values, to the things you can actually control.
Self-belief grows into self-trust. Self-trust feeds confidence. And confidence changes everything.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Trust
Leaders who trust themselves are able to make clearer decisions, stay grounded when things shift, and recover more quickly when plans change or things don't go the way they expected.
And here's the part I find truly magical: when you trust yourself, others feel that. Your team starts to feel steadier — not because you know everything, but because you're not panicking about not knowing everything.
Self-trust is contagious. When you model calm, adaptability, and self-belief, your team starts to feel permission to do the same. That is a ripple effect worth creating.
Confidence doesn't come from knowing what's ahead. It comes from knowing who you are, believing in that person, and knowing you've got your own back — even if you can't see the whole path.
Trust yourself. The confidence will follow.
What Do You Think?
Where have you already proven to yourself that you can adapt? What evidence are you overlooking?
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